Today my tuxedo cat Lacy asked me why I haven’t blogged about the Mississippi and Alabama primaries that will occur tomorrow.

“Because nothing much has changed in the skies,” I replied.

“Something must be different,” she challenged, her feline astrological knowledge improving through a deep and thorough reading of my astrological library.

“Of course,” I answered. “The moon will be in Sagittarius and Mercury is now retrograde in Aries.”

“What does it mean that Mercury is retrograde?” she asked.

“Retrograde is the apparent backward motion of a planet due to the distance between the earth and that planet. Mercury retrograde in Aries may bring up past primary results and some fighting about those results. Mercury will be conjunct Uranus so there will be sudden announcements of something from the past. Who knows, maybe Maine will finally finish counting their votes and announce that Ron Paul actually won the caucus and not Mitt Romney.”

“Maine hasn’t finished counting their votes?” Lacy asked, clearly shocked.

“I guess it takes a while to count a thousand slips of paper.”

“So just the moon and Mercury have changed since Super Tuesday?”

“All the planets move,” I answered. “But Jupiter is still in Taurus providing physical wealth to Rick Santorum with sun in Taurus and Paul with moon in Taurus. There’s still a grand earth trine with Jupiter (in Taurus), Pluto (in Capricorn) and Mars (in Virgo). Uranus is still in Aries and Neptune is still at the very early degrees of Pisces.”

“Mars is still doing its long haul through Virgo,” I continued, ”giving Romney nervous ulcers and triggering a manic bi-polar episode from Newt Gingrich.”

“Gingrich is still in the race?” Lacy asked. “I didn’t see him on the Sunday morning news shows last weekend.”

“I’d like to say you didn’t see him because he was at mass,” I began, “but most likely he wasn’t invited on because Santorum is running second to Romney so he got the air time. Gingrich is doing pretty poorly.”

“If Gingrich is doing poorly,” Lacy began, “why is he still in the race?”

How do you explain Super PACs to an innocent feline who thinks every vote counts?

“Because he can afford to.” I left it at that.

As she often does when thinking, Lacy scratched behind her ear, licked under her leg, spun around three times chasing her tail then settled back down again.

Finally she said, “I wish Gingrich would get out of the race. It would be more fun to watch Santorum duke it out with Romney.”

“I agree,” I replied. “But with Mars transiting Virgo and Neptune transiting Pisces triggering Gingrich’s crazy T-square of sun, Saturn, Uranus and Mercury in Gemini, moon in Sagittarius and Neptune in Virgo it’s like asking someone who’s just taken LSD to help you do a crossword puzzle. We have to wait for the drug to wear off. And when it does, Gingrich may collapse like a rag in the laundry pile.”