When I showed my cat the chart of the first Republican debate (August 6, 9 am EDT, Cleveland, Ohio), she announced she wasn’t going to watch it.

“Neptune in Pisces is right on the ascendant,” she noticed right away. “It’s going to be a masquerade party filled with posturing, mendacity and hyperbole.”

So cynical.

“We all have a personal brand that we protect,” I reminded her. “For example, you’re called a tuxedo cat which is pretty fancy for your humble origins.”

Seeing I upset her, I reminded her that Neptune in Pisces on the ascendant may simply bring rain and fog. Cleveland gets lots of lake-effect precipitation.

“The debates are in Cleveland?” she replied, stunned. “Why aren’t we going?”

“The debates aren’t open to the public,” I informed her. “Clearly the public isn’t needed in this process.” I left it at that. Telling her that cats were welcome nowhere would have added insult to injury.

Disappointed, my feline went to play with her catnip squeaky mouse. I know it’s not Neptune that’s truly bothering her. Her favorite candidate, Rick Santorum, didn’t make the top ten that debate at 9 pm.

Astrological Prep Sheet

Political candidates get prepped by their advisors. I’m sure, quite sure, none of those advisors is an astrologer. OHA is dedicated to political public service so will provide some astrological tips to the top ten candidates.

What other kind of advice is there?

Comparing tomorrow’s chart to each of the individual could take a few days, so we’ll focus on a few planets, mostly the moon and Mercury which move fast and affect our personal relations.

Moon in Taurus

Tomorrow’s moon is in Taurus is a calm, steady placement. The moon reacts and Taurus doesn’t so it represents emotional equilibrium. Taurus is the fixed earth sign associated with money and property. While the economy is always a subject of debates, we may also get more questions about the environment.

1. Jeb Bush – This moon is an exact conjunction to natal Jupiter in Taurus. Be prepared to explain your finances. But don’t worry – tonight will generate more money!
2. Ben Carson – While you have lots of earth sign Virgo, natal moon in Sagittarius may want the debate to be a bit livelier than Taurus provides. Calm down horsey.
3. Chris Christie – Ditto the Carson comments as you also have sun in Virgo and moon in Sagittarius too. And you’re alphabetically aligned as well! Be sure to talk slow without spittle.
4. Ted Cruz – This moon is conjunct natal Saturn. Don’t wear on your sleeve your insecurities about being a poor boy.
5. Mike Huckabee – Ouch! This moon is opposite natal moon/Saturn in Scorpio. When everyone is playing nice, don’t make a nasty comment like “Sure Mother Theresa is nice, but . . .”
6. John Kasich – This moon is tucked between natal Venus and sun in Taurus and trine natal moon in Capricorn which promotes the energy of your being. You will make Ohio proud.
7. Rand Paul – This moon squares natal Mercury and Saturn in Aquarius. Don’t get stuck talking about only one subject. The debate will bore you, with moon in Gemini. Don’t show it.
8. Marco Rubio – This moon both helps and hurts you. Like Bush, plan to talk about your personal finances. By golly, talk about the environment. And don’t let the square to Mars in Aquarius make you appear obstinate.
9. Donald Trump – Of all the candidates, you will be most bored by moon in Taurus since you have no earth in the chart. If you talk out of turn, you will simply look like a bull in a china shop. Pass notes with Carson, Christie and Paul. They will be bored too.
10. Scott Walker – Double ouch! Taurus moon opposes your four planets in Scorpio (which includes moon). As with Huckabee’s advice, plan carefully when to issue aggressive comments that question motives.

Mercury in Leo

Mercury, the planet of communication, is in Leo tucked between Venus and Jupiter. The gregarious Leo portends that all will be nicely dressed with new haircuts and shiny hair gel. Ties should be bright.

Unfortunately Leo squares Taurus so expect a bit of stubborn pride which may focus on a single, small topic for way too long.

1. Bush – Leo energy is opposite your Aquarian sun. Leo is self, Aquarius is other. Don’t focus too much on the groups in which you are a part.
2. Carson – Leo provides energy to your Mars and moon so you’ll have a few moments to shine in between the boredom. Just don’t reveal your Pluto/Mars conjunction controlling nature.
3. Christie – Leo energy trines your moon providing confidence. Remember, Leo is dignified pride, not self-righteous indignation.
4. Cruz – Leo makes some positive aspects and some negative aspects. Leo pride will shine brightest if you talk about your partner.
5. Huckabee – With five natal planets in Leo, you won’t need caffeine. You’re energized but the squares to your natal and the Taurus moon bring on an arrogant edge.
6. Kasich – Leo squares Taurus. While Taurus is on your side, I’d suggest you make sure to look extra-special Leo nice. You been looking haggard and this is where Leo may get you.
7. Paul – With natal Mars in Leo, Leo energy gives you confidence. It also makes you look focused, which you’re not.
8. Rubio – Leo energy is a mixed bag for you. It trines Jupiter/Neptune (in Sagittarius) providing enthusiasm. It opposes natal Mars in Aquarius suggesting you’re more comfortable championing for others rather than yourself.
9. Trump – Leo is good for you with so much fire and air, including Mars in Leo. Leo is good for hair too so hopefully that will work itself out.
10. Walker – Yikes. Leo squares both the Taurus moon and all your Scorpio planets. Taurus is looking for peace, Leo for pride and you are seeking salvation. Figure it out.

Neptune in Pisces

Now I see why the debate is limited to ten candidates. This is a lot of work.

Neptune is a slow-moving outer planet that dissolves boundaries and allows us to peer into realms considered religious or spiritual. While that may sound intriguing or desirable for the spiritually-driven, when the ground dissolves under us, we often react in panic. Peering into the universe from the comfort of your couch through a long-lens microscope is way different than finding yourself in outer space without a spacesuit.

How do our candidates deal with dissolution?

1. Bush – Hates it. His natal Aquarius sun and Capricorn moon seeks rules, law and order.
2. Carson – Has a hate/love relationship with it. Sun, Mercury and Venus seek definitiveness. Moon in Sagittarius likes to break free of that, daily.
3. Christie – Ditto Carson as he also has sun Virgo/moon Sagittarius. However, his Jupiter in Pisces likes to dissolve even more frequently.
4. Cruz – Ignores it. His three planets in Scorpio can acknowledge it, his Neptune in Sagittarius tries to latch onto it (which isn’t possible), but the rest of the chart is focused on people and objects.
5. Huckabee – Loves it when others dissolve and he’s the leader with sun in opposite Virgo and five planets in Leo. He’s too proud to dissolve.
6. Kasich – Hates it. Taurus sun and Capricorn moon need control.
7. Paul – Knows how to use it. This boy has a wide mutable grand cross (Jupiter-Pisces, Venus-Sagittarius, moon-Gemini and Uranus/Pluto-Virgo). He may dissolve from the race.
8. Rubio – He kind of likes it. Pisces fills the gap of a mutable grand cross (Pluto-Virgo, sun-Gemini, Jupiter/Neptune-Sagittarius). Pisces gives the feeling to the cause. Pisces is also the victim.
9. Trump – Can’t tell. I’m not sure with Uranus/sun in Gemini and moon in Sagittarius if there are any boundaries to dissolve.
10. Walker – Has a hate/love relationship with it. Four planets in Virgo hate it and four planets in Scorpio like it when it occurs with intimate associates.

Since this Neptune-in-Pisces transit is on the horizon when the debate begins tomorrow, possibly our first question of the evening will involve environment or water concerns. I’m expecting, at least, a glass of water on each podium.