Lance Armstrong: Doper or Hypochondriac?

The whole notion of some drugs being “legal” and others being “illegal” is really quite interesting. What is the inherent property of a drug that is on wrong side of the law?

While drugs are classified as “legal” and “illegal,” alcohol runs free, like a dog in the park chasing whoever it wants. While you have to be of age to drink, once you are, you can buy as much as you want. I can drink all day every day, if I want.

It’s confusing. I’m sure there’s a drug out there that would remove my confusion.

I don’t know if the “performance enhancing” drugs that the sports industry bans as “doping” are illegal in general, or just for professional athletes. I can understand why the sports industry wants “clean” athletes who win competitions based on their own physical accomplishments.

Sports enthusiasts are now anxiously waiting news on whether Lance Armstrong took performance-enhancing drugs. Astrology can’t tell you if he did, but what astrology can tell you is that an individual with sun, moon, Mercury and Pluto in Virgo is a person worries obsessively about his/her health.

Virgo is the picky eater of the zodiac, the one with the special order, and the one in your school who had food allergies before anyone else heard of food allergies. Virgo has the rare disease where you can’t eat lettuce and capers at the same time.

Felix Ungar of the Odd Couple is a Virgo.

Virgo rules the house of health, diet and work. Armstrong is a hard worker too.

With all those planets in Virgo, Armstrong probably worries about everything, not just his health. Armstrong can probably bike a million miles on nervous mental energy alone. I suspect this man has great difficulty relaxing.

With all those planets in Virgo, I would guess that Armstrong takes some sort of drug or medicine for health, but not necessarily a “doping” drug to enhance performance. He’s probably always taken some sort of vitamins, minerals, herbals, medicines or other weird health remedy. Armstrong is the sort of person who would respond to that mail order ad for some exotic plant juice that could cure all illnesses.

Just because someone worries about health obsessively doesn’t mean real health problems don’t exist. I personally don’t believe in hypochondria because if someone feels ills, then there is something out of whack either physically, emotionally or spiritually.

And there’s lots more going on in Armstrong’s chart.

Armstrong has a T-square involving Saturn in Gemini, Mercury in Virgo and a Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius. These are mutable signs, best known for adaptability, changeability and in general avoidance of problems. Armstrong may worry about his problems, but he’s not very good at facing them.

The Saturn/Mercury square between Virgo and Gemini says this man who loves to talk often doesn’t talk. His speech is both practical and critical. Most of his speech probably involves the comparing of things. A lot goes on in the mind of someone with so much Virgo. I’m guessing his mind spins and like a gumball machine, every now and again a gumball shoots out. The gumball is a random thought and those around him may wonder how it relates to the last gumball thought that shot out.

That Jupiter/Neptune conjunction in Sagittarius suggests a strong desire for the sublime. But it squares Saturn and Mercury. Armstrong’s inner “doctor” is telling him no. If Armstrong is taking drugs, I suspect it is for something that calms the mind more than improves the body.

There is yet another configuration in Armstrong’s chart worth noting – a grand air trine with Saturn, Uranus and Mars. Air is sociability and relationships. I can see this with Armstrong because there was a point in time a couple years ago when he seemed on every magazine cover and in every Vanity Fair party picture spread.

But that Saturn hangs in the middle of the grand air trine and the T-square. Saturn in Gemini suggests that Armstrong feels inadequate intellectually. Gemini, as the sign of the twins, also suggests that Armstrong can’t really find another being that feels like a “brother” or soul mate. I don’t mean soul mate in the new agey sense of romantic partner, but of a personal that you feel simply understands you, that you are 100% comfortable being with.

Armstrong has no planets in water signs. Armstrong is not emotionally connected to those around him. He doesn’t really understand the feelings of others. He responds socially, but can’t respond emotionally.

In summary, Armstrong is a picky critical worry wart who socializes a lot, but feels socially inadequate. He likes to have fun, but worries about overextending himself. He wants to try new things, but worries about what might happen. If Armstrong did “dope,” it was probably more out of a sense of improving his health and calming his mind than improving his performance.


About ohioastrology

I'm just another soul trying to make sense of the world. As I've grown, so has my understanding of astrology. I'd like to communicate that astrology is not occult and not fortune-telling but that it is a fluid, creative description of the life we choose to live.
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3 Responses to Lance Armstrong: Doper or Hypochondriac?

  1. Miss G says:

    hey ohio ! i just read this, i do think poor lance ! i love cycling myself – any chance you could do an update ?

  2. Miss G says:

    btw, i love the gumball analogy 🙂

  3. Pingback: Oprah the Confessor, Lance the Martyr? | Ohio Astrology

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