The Hypochondriac of the Zodiac is . . .


Let other astrologers disagree with me and tell me why. I find Virgo sun, Virgo moon or people with packed 6th houses (the house of health and work ruled by Virgo) to be those most likely to be labeled “hypochondriac” by others.

Hypochondria is excessive worry or focus about illness. Don’t forget that hypochondriacs do get sick but often don’t get the comfort they want because in between sickness they talk so much about sickness.

Here’s what I think happens with what is called hypochondria.

Every day we wake as a different person and have a multitude of sensations. Maybe today I’m happy, tomorrow I’m grouchy and another day my neck is a bit stiff because I fell asleep on the couch watching TV.

The hypochondriac, I believe, tries to find a REASON for each day’s changes. On happy day, you hear the person slept well. On grouchy day you hear about last night’s chili and subsequent gas that kept him/her up all night. On stiff neck day you hear about the perils of sleeping on a couch, the types of beds made now and throughout history and why you should sleep on a firm mattress.

Virgo is known for attention to detail and discrimination. Its opposite sign, Pisces, is diffuse and feeling.

Pisces wakes up happy, makes breakfast and writes some poetry. Virgo wakes up happy and explains the benefits of vitamins and how they make you sleep well and wake up happy.

Now for a demonstration –

Pisces and Virgo are eating ice cream. Here’s the conversation:

Pisces: Hmm! This tastes so good!

Virgo: It could use a little more sugar. But that’s okay because sugar is so bad for you. In fact ice cream, which is made of milk, is 50% sugar and fat. It’s proven that humans shouldn’t eat dairy products and that with age we become lactose intolerant. I’ll just live with the stomach pains today. I love ice cream and skipped lunch so I don’t mind the extra calories. I’ll just have a salad tomorrow to get some vitamins. I’ll probably make it myself; I don’t trust restaurants because you really have to wash lettuce to make sure it doesn’t have e Coli.


Is Virgo truly enjoying that ice cream? I’ll never know.

Virgo is creating detailed analysis between itself and the sensation. That in-between moment is winged-footed Mercury running around the Virgo’s head. Each sensation is interpreted and explained. We all do it. Virgo just does it more and tells you about it.

For most of the 1960s, Uranus and Pluto were conjunct in Virgo. The generation born under this aspect will experience enlightenment and transformation through health and work issues – Virgo stuff.

This generation is now in its 40s and 50s, the prime of life. Since our world is run by people in the prime of their lives, I believe these trends are a result of the generation born with Uranus/Pluto conjunction in Virgo: 

  • Green movement
  • Organic farming
  • Worry about germs
  • Increase in use of pharmaceuticals
  • Wellness programs
  • Calorie counting
  • Diets, including fad diets

While these are important and positive trends, I sometimes feel like a pariah when I’m sick. Have you gone to work lately with a cold? It’s “you’ve got cooties” all over again, this time in the workplace instead of elementary school.

I still wonder how this generation has sex as the fear of germs is so prominent. What’s germier than sex? Maybe that’s why Virgo is a virgin . . .

I suppose the moral of the story is this: be kind to your hypochondriacs. They are the second hand on the clock loudly ticking every sensation. At the same time, they are cleaning up the planet.


About ohioastrology

I'm just another soul trying to make sense of the world. As I've grown, so has my understanding of astrology. I'd like to communicate that astrology is not occult and not fortune-telling but that it is a fluid, creative description of the life we choose to live.
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2 Responses to The Hypochondriac of the Zodiac is . . .

  1. Pingback: The Astrology of Weight Loss | Ohio Astrology

  2. Jake says:

    This is thee most retarded shit I have ever stumbled upon lmfao, as a Virgo you couldn’t have described me any worse. You’re hypothesis are about as worthless as the thin smoking man in the white house 😂😂😂😂😂😂

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