My cat asked me about the news story that describes Mitt Romney chopping off some boy’s hair in high school. She wanted to know why it is news.

“I think the Romney campaign is trying to make Romney appear fun,” I answered. “Since he’s so boring and his campaign is so boring, people might simply forget there’s an election.”

“Why did he cut someone’s hair off?” Lacy asked. Full of hair, this bothers her.

“Romney does have that Saturn and Pluto in Leo,” I explained. “Leo loves hair and with Saturn in Leo Romney probably feels everyone else’s hair is nicer.

I’m guessing he cut it off because he was envious. Some are envious of money, others hair.”

Lacy asked if I thought Romney was still envious of others’ hair.

“Remember, Lacy,” I said patiently. “Romney did this in like 1965. That’s when kids were starting to grow their hair and call themselves hippies. Rather than gay bashing it was probably hippie bashing.”

“What’s a hippie?”

“Back in the 1960s there was a ten-year period when material ambition was challenged. The 1970s had a little of it too but then Ronald Reagan stopped all that.”

“So Romney hates hippies?”

“Romney has sun and Mars in Pisces which likes to lie on the grass and stare at clouds creating imaginative stories about the shapes. He’s got a little hippie in him.

And with Jupiter and moon conjunct in Scorpio, the idea of open and free sex would be rather appealing.

And Neptune in Libra would definitely want to make love and not war.”

“So why did Romney beat up a hippie then?” Lacy asked.

“It’s called a projection. Sometimes we hate others because they are daring enough to be the things we want to be. Sometimes we envy them for doing what we can’t do.”

“You mean Romney wants to grow his hair?”

“Maybe,” I answered. “Or maybe he just wants to lie on the grass, staring at the clouds, drinking something that causes inebriation and making love.”

“So why is he running for President?” Lacy asked.

“That’s still a great mystery Lacy, to me and others.”