Alcoholic beverages, according to this Wikipedia article, are grouped into three general classes: beer, wine and spirits.

Wikipedia calls alcohol in beverages a “psychoactive drug” that alters perception, mood, consciousness, cognition and behavior.

What planet does that?

Neptune is the planet that “alters perception” when it passes over or makes aspect to another planet. Neptune is associated with foggy or unclear states – the kind of state where you fall in love with a frog and the kind of states where you sell roses 15 hours a day for a guru who lives in a mansion.

Neptune clearly rules “beer goggles.”

Goggles are the perfect image of Neptune – we can see, but we see through a think layer of glass, plastic stuff.

What is the stuff we’re looking through?

I don’t think it’s simply our psychological stuff – that would be the moon. I think Neptune rules the fourth dimensional “stuff” of all that we collectively see, feel and believe. If we’re a culture that believes in fairies, that is part of fourth dimensional stuff. If we’re a culture that believes in technology, likewise that is part of the fourth dimensional stuff.

Even if you don’t personally believe in “the stuff,” it hangs around the environment like pot smoke and may still give you a contact buzz.

Pisces

Neptune is the planet rules the sign of Pisces, the two fish swimming in opposite directions. Pisces is emotional, sensitive and empathetic.

Empathy evokes images of morality yet Pisces is empathetic whether it wants to be or not because it has no psychic skin between itself and the world. Don’t think all Pisces are able to help you simply because they truly feel your pain.

With no skin between itself and others, Pisces goes with the flow and can be pure water flowing from the mountain to the ocean or polluted water flowing from a toilet to a sewer.

Pisces needs to choose its water carefully because whatever water it swims in, it becomes.

Alcohol by rising sign

While the three categories of alcoholic beverages all provide the same effect in varying degrees, each has its own “culture,” which delights me to no end. It’s a “psychoactive drug” with a story.

Let’s have some fun and assign each classification a rising sign (ascendant in the horoscope) that describes how it presents itself to the world.

Beer is associated with the average Joe, the guy sitting at the bar watching the sports game. It is consumed at sports events is often the subject of sports-events’ commercials and relates to joining the gang. Beer is for everyone and has no class or caste system.

Beer’s rising sign can be Aquarius, the sign of the humanitarian. Even if Aquarius can’t stand the taste of beer, it would drink it to prove camaraderie.

Wine is associated with “culture” itself which likes to attach itself to the country of France quite often. Seeing the drunken, vomiting and goggled state of inebriation as something beautiful is clearly in the realm of Libra.

Libra is ruled by Venus and rules pleasure, beauty and art and brings these impulses to wine. Libra hangs a picture in the stockroom, brings a table cloth to the picnic and puts candles on the kitchen table.

Spirits are tricky to me. There are so many spirits, each with different images. Absolut drinkers and Wild Turkey drinkers evoke way different images. Hmm. I need help, dear reader, with spirits. Maybe spirits should be sub-categorized:

• Whisky is associated with rough types, hunting men and a shot that takes away the pain of the day. I’ll brand whisky a Scorpio because whisky drinking involves serious business.
• Vodka is associated with what? I don’t drink enough to know but see it in Ohio as between wine and whisky in terms of seriousness and intensity. I’ll brand it, for the moment, a social spirit and will honor it for the time as Gemini, the sign of the social butterfly.
• Brandy is both a romantic and girly drink. I don’t think, but am not sure, that two men after work will go for a brandy. What’s sweet and comforting? I’ll go with Cancer on this one, which I also think rules ice cream.
• Rum is from sugarcane and the Latin and South American countries. Since rum is associated with those cultures and fun, good times, I’ll brand it a Leo, a sign preferred by Latin and South American rulers.
• Tequila is from Mexico which is a Virgo country. I can’t imagine Virgo ruling any alcoholic beverage, but what the heck, let’s invite Virgo to the party, even if it’s a teetotaler.

Then there is the drink of Drinks:

Martinis are associated with business lunches, advertising executives and success. Martinis, then, might be represented by Capricorn.

Now a big question remains – what rising sign to have after dinner tonight?