My sweet tuxedo cat Lacy was shocked when I told her about the news story of a woman claiming to have had a 13-year extramarital affair with Republican Presidential Candidate Herman Cain.

“But isn’t he, like, a minister or something?” Lacy asked, whiskers aflutter.

“Yes,” I told her, “But people do not always follow the things they preach, especially Sagittarians. Sagittarians love to find meaning but don’t always have the discipline to follow their ideals.”

“Wouldn’t he feel guilty, though?” Lacy purred quizzically.

“He might feel guilty, Lacy,” I said, “We’ll never know. But sometimes people with a grand fire trine involving the sun, moon and Mars, like Cain has, feel so confident that they don’t believe the rules apply to them. They feel special.”

“We’re all special, aren’t we?” Lacy asked with feline innocence.

“Yes, we are. But folks with Leo in the horoscope feel even more special. Remember when we talked about Cain’s Mars in Leo? When Mars was in Leo this summer, Cain was rocking. Now that Mars is in Virgo, his life has gone to hell in a hand basket.”

“Is Virgo bad then?”

“No, Virgo is not bad. But when you have lots of fire in your chart, you live on possibilities. Virgo brings in the nasty details, like when you realize you left the dishes in the sink before you went on vacation. When you come back from Disneyworld, you have a pile of dirty, nasty, stinking dishes.”

Lacy stared at me with her yellow eyes, thinking about dishes, and then asked:

“Do you think he’ll stay in the race?”

“Even an astrologer can’t know that, Lacy,” I responded. “However, with so much fire in the chart and Pluto conjunct Mars in Leo, Cain may feel he’s invincible.”

“Wouldn’t staying in the race just embarrass his family?”

“I’m sure it would, but with only one planet in water, Saturn in Cancer, Cain isn’t much for other people’s feelings. In fact, with Saturn in Cancer, you’d think he doesn’t really like family life at all.”

“Cain is good looking,” Lacy said, turning her furry little head away in coy embarrassment. “I can see why women like him.”

“Yes, fire is often attractive due to its intense magnetic energy. Cain probably would have been happier as a playboy, but this is America so everyone gets married.”

“Maybe,” Lacy meowed, “Cain will overcome this situation when Mars leaves Virgo?”

“That’s a good thought,” I told Lacy, to encourage her in her astrological studies. “But Mars goes retrograde in Virgo and will not move into Libra until next summer. I fear if Cain stays in the race it will just get uglier and uglier. Mars will be in Virgo until a month before the Republican National Convention. If Cain stays in the race, he will have to cough up some Virgo-like details.”

Just then Lacy coughed up a furball. Sniffing the pile she remarked, “It feels good to cough it all up.”